Gift Idea
One of the many minor frustrations of LDS service-oriented moves is that the people being moved almost never have the appropriate tools on hand for the last few steps of the process. (“A screwdriver to disassemble my $7 Ikea desk? Of course I have one. It’s packed in a box you loaded in the truck forty minutes ago.”)*
I’ve been thinking since the last time this occurred that I should begin carrying a pocket multi-tool so we’ll always have pliers, screwdrivers, and a knife available. Of course I’d have occasion to use such a device about six times before I’m too old to continue helping with moves, but such practical thoughts have no bearing in tool purchase decisions. If you have a husband or father and want to make Fathers’ Day 2008 the greatest ever, buy him this.**
Go here to see the full awesomeness of this tool, including the ingenious one-handed action of accessing the knife. You have the Delicious Animals guarantee*** that giving the byrdrench for Fathers’ Day will ensure you are the favorite spouse or child for the next twelve months.
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* Remind me to tell you sometime about the move in which we nearly hit the trifecta of finding disgusting stuff. Without giving away the exciting conclusion I’ll just point out quickly that if you ask people to move you (for free) and it takes the better part of a day for these people to conduct said move and they find any combination of dead rodents, live cockroaches, and human bodily waste you have asked for too much. The same holds true for any move that includes packing. If you want help packing, ask for that in advance. People coming to help you move did not sign up for an extra couple of hours loading your crap into garbage bags. They asked for aching muscles, strained joints, and donuts.
** Note to Denise and my literate children: I do not want you to buy this tool for me. Receiving it would make me feel guilty over the purchase price and give me one fewer reason to avoid helping with moves. Please do not buy this tool for me.
*** Yes, I realize I’ve used five footnotes in two blog posts. No, I do not have sufficient interest in improving my writing skills to eliminate such laziness.
I’ve been thinking since the last time this occurred that I should begin carrying a pocket multi-tool so we’ll always have pliers, screwdrivers, and a knife available. Of course I’d have occasion to use such a device about six times before I’m too old to continue helping with moves, but such practical thoughts have no bearing in tool purchase decisions. If you have a husband or father and want to make Fathers’ Day 2008 the greatest ever, buy him this.**
Go here to see the full awesomeness of this tool, including the ingenious one-handed action of accessing the knife. You have the Delicious Animals guarantee*** that giving the byrdrench for Fathers’ Day will ensure you are the favorite spouse or child for the next twelve months.
.
.
.
.
* Remind me to tell you sometime about the move in which we nearly hit the trifecta of finding disgusting stuff. Without giving away the exciting conclusion I’ll just point out quickly that if you ask people to move you (for free) and it takes the better part of a day for these people to conduct said move and they find any combination of dead rodents, live cockroaches, and human bodily waste you have asked for too much. The same holds true for any move that includes packing. If you want help packing, ask for that in advance. People coming to help you move did not sign up for an extra couple of hours loading your crap into garbage bags. They asked for aching muscles, strained joints, and donuts.
** Note to Denise and my literate children: I do not want you to buy this tool for me. Receiving it would make me feel guilty over the purchase price and give me one fewer reason to avoid helping with moves. Please do not buy this tool for me.
*** Yes, I realize I’ve used five footnotes in two blog posts. No, I do not have sufficient interest in improving my writing skills to eliminate such laziness.
6 Comments:
The footnoting is getting really out of control here, hon. But you are funny, clever, and I'm keeping you.
You can't get it cheaper on ebay. I sent you a link.
Great idea!!
thanks mo. for everyone’s benefit i must point out that in an email encouraging me to buy the byrdrench mo commented that he has two leatherman tools that are rarely used, but which he looks at occasionally to “feel extremely manly”.
Remember when we moved all of Mo's stuff out of the storage unit and into their new apartment...when he and the fam were out of town?
It should be a new show on Fox...Xtreme Christianity!
my lasting memory of that move is learning that one member of the family had kept every pair of underwear he'd worn his entire adult life. i was very grateful that austin barney was there to carry some of those 'special' bags....
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