Always Look on The Bright Side of Life

Thursday afternoon was rainy in midtown, so my walk to Grand Central was an exercise in umbrella jostling and soggy appendages. By the time I reached the station I was in a foul mood. Thankfully, I soon got to chuckle at the misfortune of a fool.

Rain brings out two extremes in pedestrian commuter speed. First is the ginger stepping, handrail holding, cautious person. These safety conscious impediments to effective crowd management somehow turn a three minute walk to the track into ten minutes of frustration. The other commuter is the "what rain?", full speed ahead, out of my way person. These self important menaces to society are the leading cause of train-related death in metropolitan areas. (Little known fact: dehydrated vole carcasses are the overall leading cause of train-related
death.)

As I was making my way down the three flights of stairs from the Madison Avenue entrance, unhappy with the woman in front of me who had decided that the proper way to rid her umbrella of excess water was to tilt it backward and shake, I realized that a member from the latter class of extreme speed commuters was in for trouble. He had a minor slip on an upper stair, but didn't slow down even slightly. The stairs were crowded and the escalator full. A fall would be problematic and embarrassing.

Only seconds later, it happened. His right foot went out from under him as the shoe failed to find traction on a step half-way down the staircase. Due to the forward momentum from his speed and negligence in not holding a handrail, he went down hard. This was not a garden variety stumble followed by awkward recovery. We're talking flat out, on his back, foot in the air disaster. He may have even slipped down a step or two on his bum. The fall was sufficiently dramatic that many of the few dozen people who saw it exclaimed some variation of "ooooohhh" or "ouuuuch". I, of course, was the only person callous enough to laugh. While a thoughtful man asked about the status of the prone, even more soggy than before faller, I chuckled. Suddenly my crappy commute wasn't all that bad.
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I may have pulled a muscle or two in the fall, but I'll be fine. Thank you for asking.