Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Inappropriate Things That Make Me Smile

Brownies for first breakfast at 5:20am




Redneck timeout


Taco Bell's Revenge, written by a friend of Robert

So yesterday I went to the Taco Bell. Waited forty five minutes at the drive-thru before I got my food. Ordered a Fiesta Chicken Taco Salad for $5.50 and two regular tacos. After I drove away with my food I saw that they'd given me a regular taco salad ($2.99) and that one of my tacos had no meat. Also, no utensils or napkins. I was pretty pissed considering I'd just spent my whole lunch hour waiting around to get $3.00 worth of food for $6.00. So I came back to my desk and ate it, because I sure wasn't going to spend another hour there getting it fixed. Got online to their website and wrote them up a courteous complaint, and that was that.

Last night I was riding the bucket about twice every hour until I went to bed. Woke up this morning feeling okay, got in the shower, and all of a sudden we're at Defcon 1 -- imminent danger. Left the shower running and jumped out, no time to dry off. Saddled up and rode that bucket like I stole it. It was awful. Got back in the shower, which was a very good thing seeing as how I needed to go to work today, and eventually made it out to my car. Car's running, I'm getting ready to leave, and then the hammer drops. Defcon 1 again -- imminent danger. Raced back upstairs, dropped trou, and gave that toilet the beating of its life. Just terrible, terrible things. Back in the car and on my way again, thinking I'd have a decent time of it now. Holding steady at Defcon 4 until I hit the Capitol Hill, where I was escalated to Defcon 3 and briefly to Defcon 2. Been sorta bouncing Defcon 3 and 2 the rest of the morning. Just a few minutes ago I thought I was going to Defcon 1, but so far it hasn't reached that point. I tell you I put in a full day's work before I even got here this morning. On the plus side, I've lost about three pounds.

So Taco Bell got the last laugh after all. I gave them six bucks and they gave me $3 in food and hours and hours of gastrointestinal agony.

(I edited this slightly. If the author would like attribution or removal, please contact me.)


A Duane Reade clerk telling me, "Sank you, come again."

5 Comments:

Blogger Denise said...

you are a funny, funny man

December 15, 2006  
Blogger daniel said...

please don't bring my looks into this.

December 16, 2006  
Blogger Lisa said...

Where you watching the kids in the picture of the baby & duck taped to the fridge?

December 18, 2006  
Blogger daniel said...

i think maybe lisa is calling me a redneck. i'm not sure how i feel about that.

December 29, 2006  
Blogger Denise said...

I think that if Lisa IS calling you a redneck, I would like to see that interchange while the two of you are locked in a padded room and I'm watching from an outside window.

January 05, 2007  

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